Survivors - Discrepancies, Contradictions, Inconsistencies and Loose Ends Part 1
Introduction
A frequent criticism of survivors of mind control programming and ritual abuse is that they have discrepancies, loose ends, contradictions and inconsistencies in their stories.
That is of course true. However just because there are discrepancies and loose ends does not invalidate a survivor’s story or prove that the survivor is not a survivor. It is an inevitable result of the horrific experiences that they have been through.
Much of the criticism comes from those that know little to nothing about mind control, ritual abuse or the cult that is running world affairs. Instead of learning about those things that they are so pitifully ignorant of, they choose to target and bully survivors. Perhaps some of them have an ulterior motive or they may be controlled themselves and not consciously know it.
The following explanations will be imperfect but this is aimed at people who do not know about mind control programming, to give them an idea for the first time. The definitions are not to be taken as exact.
Why do Survivors have Discrepancies and Loose Ends?
Alters, Dissociation, Trauma and Memory
We all have discrepancies, contradictions, loose ends and inconsistencies in our lives and when we tell the stories of our lives. It is part of being human and being fallible.
Discrepancies and inconsistencies are indeed very probably more pronounced with survivors, for understandable reasons when it is examined what they have been through. It comes with the territory of the horrible upbringing they had. Survivors of mind control or ritual abuse were tortured, often since the womb. The brain’s reaction to that torture is to dissociate and the mind control programmers take advantage of that natural defence mechanism to create hundreds of alters, most of which do not communicate with each other. Dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from thoughts, feelings, memories or sense of identity often due to trauma.
When this happens to people as small children, they often do not know who they are with, where they are or when it is. The memories of events can also be hazy due to the torture and forced drug use and people in masks. Zapping with electric cattle prods and the use of drugs such as Scopolamine are specifically used to make a victim forget.
Survivors of mind control have been programmed to perform certain actions as slaves for their programmers, controllers and handlers, at the trigger of a codeword, hand sign, smell or other signal. The signs or signals make the programmed individual (PI) go into the specific alter (alternate personality) that the programmer or handler requires.
The changing of alters is called dissociation and the programmed individual, PI, is said to be dissociative. This can be diagnosed as DID dissociative identity disorder, which used to be called multi personality disorder. However an individual does not have to be programmed to be dissociative. A PI is of course likely to suffer from complex post traumatic stress disorder PTSD as well.
Due to the traumatic nature of the memories and the fact that a PI is likely to have hundreds of alters a survivor’s memories are not stored in the normal place that the memories of a non dissociative person are stored. The memories have not been processed as normal and thus they require reprocessing then refiling. This requires the survivor to recall them.
This reprocessing is often associated with abreactions - ie reliving the terror that a survivor had previously gone through at the time the memory happened, see Appendix 1 for some examples. The reprocessing does appear to help a survivor to be able to piece together more fully an explanation of what has happened to them, as the little pieces of memory filed all over the place in their brain join together. It also appears to help join these many alters more towards one integrated whole.
This is not whole story but is a reasonable basic explanation to help people new to the subject to understand.
Survivor Programming
Survivors brains have been deliberately and cynically programmed against themselves and against their own interests, by others. There are many different types of programming which use the different waves or frequencies that the brain transmits eg. alpha, beta, gamma, delta, theta. Each is used to make the mind controlled slave do certain tasks required of them eg. sex slave uses beta, delta is often used for violent alters, theta for remote viewing, alpha is the wave state people would go into when watching the tv, receptive and usually not analytical.
Torture on a programmed individual often started in the womb, with both torture of the foetus and the mother. The sadistic and perverted programmers use the body and soul’s natural mechanisms evolved over millenia to love and be loved, to nurture and be nurtured. They twist that to the benefit of the programmer and the end goal of the satanic system. Programmers use an individuals natural instincts to their own ends, betray them so that the person programmed learns not to trust and learns to betray.
Programmers use torture devices such as cattle prods, even hacking limbs off the birth mother whilst in the womb to traumatise the foetus. The evil is beyond most peoples imagination, A Day in the Life of a Trainer 2 [14].
The programmer used the brains natural tendency to protect itself and dissociate when faced with horrific happenings and they further split the mind into hundreds of different alters, each with their own memories, triggers and uses for the programmers, owners and handlers.
Programming is organised often via a base structure of the Tree of Life. Kim Noble’s alter called Key drew this picture, in mirror writing, which appears to be part of her programming structure, No Ordinary Artist [7]. I have kept it small so that it is not triggering, but those who wish can open in a new tab.
Laura Worley has done most to explain the Tree of Life / Death programming see Self Help for MK Ultra Survivors - NWO Programming [5].
Allied to the Tree of Life programming, other less deep, base programming such as colour programming eg. black / white, red / blue in which different hemispheres of the brain are programmed with different colours and not allowed to work together. A multiplicity of other programming can be laid on top eg waterworld programming, jewel programming, princess programming and often via films such as Fantasia Fantasia 1940 in English [15] Wizard of Oz or popular Disney films.
Some end times programming for PI’s has already been initiated. Triggered by the colour purple this is the signal for both sides of the brain to start interacting which then will release internal conflict and chaos for the PI. The olympics appeared to be a large scale activation event using the colour purple. This conflict for PI will be resolved by the antichrist figure of course at the cost of following his agenda.
Memory Storage and Recall
The body has experienced all that has happened to it and adding together all the numerous alters and splits of the mind then the brain has too. The body and mind have therefore experienced and stored the memory of all the abuse and torture. However the memories of a survivor however have not been processed normally. Partly this is due to the left and right parts of the brain which have been programmed separately and deliberately not allowed to connect normally through the corpus callosum connecting the two parts of the brain.
Kathleen Sullivan explains…
…I and many other trauma survivors have experienced, our memories have often emerged in fragmented, visual flashbacks and emotional abreactions. Because these pieces of traumatic memory were not stored in the “normal experience” parts of our brains, we did not have the ability to regulate or control when or how the flashbacks and abreactions would occur.
Referring to a 1911 journal article, “Recognition and Selfhood,” by Eduard Claparede, Bower and Sivers wrote:. . . the trauma victim’s consciousness may be distorted (or attention narrowed?) during the traumatic event, so that traumatic memories are more likely to be stored in the situationally- accessible memory system rather than in association with the cognitive [normally conscious] self. This analysis may provide a useful account of why some trauma victims are at times unable to recall voluntarily the trauma, while at other times they suffer from spontaneous flashback memories of it. Kathleen Sullivan book information via [2], [9a].
Traumatic memories are stored in a different place and also split between hundreds of different alters, which are not co-conscious. Most have no knowledge of what all the other alters have experienced. The memories have gone into a kind of emergency storage and were not properly processed. It is only when these memories start to be recalled, perhaps via a smell, a signal or a sound that an individual even realises that they may have been mind controlled.
Woodcock explained that this is usually done by helping the survivor to speak – often for the first time–about the traumatic memories. As this is done, the material or information literally transfers from one side of the brain to the other, where it gradually blends with and becomes a permanent part of the survivor’s life narrative. Kathleen Sullivan via [2], [9a].
After recalling it, the previously unprocessed memory is then processed and filed in a more normal places…
…“traumatic memory can be transferred from the right hemisphere to Broca’s area, where it can then integrate with and become part of the survivor’s “normal life” experiences”. Kathleen Sullivan via [2], [9a].
Expression of how a survivor feels in whatever form gives an opportunity for the brain to deal with previously unprocessed memories and them to be stored correctly. Journalling, drawing, painting, collaging or whatever means that allows the survivor to express what has gone on, helps deal with the trauma.
Survivor Programming First Realisations
When the programming is first breaking down for whatever reason the survivors try to piece together memories which come back in flashes and piecemeal. Imagine hearing a piece of music or smell that suddenly transports you back to the time that the memory occurred, but associated with that memory is a nightmare scenario, and it is just a short isolated memory flash.
People try and work out what has happened to them, what is the matter with them and perhaps why they are suffering tiredness, or headaches, or missing time, cannot remember getting a tattoo done, cannot remember much of their childhood, people saying things that seem odd to them about being childish.
Despite all the programming they gradually begin to realise that they are not imagining these memories, that they are not part of a dream, they are real memories. If they get an inkling of this a survivor often then researches for some validation that their experiences are real, not imagined. They will start reading about mind control and find that what some other survivors say can match their experiences. To their horror they find that they were mind control programmed and subjected to extreme abuse, often ritual abuse from the luciferian cults under various guises - nazi, satanic, ku klux clan, jesuit, mormon, etc.
From the moment of partial realisation it is a roller coaster journey. Reading and speaking to other survivors often trigger more and more memories. Nightmare experiences are recalled and it is difficult to cope, and work and maintain relationships with family. If a survivor does disclose, most people may not believe them, so they are forced to have two realities - what really happened, and then a day to day existence where most people cannot imagine the horrors that went on, do not want to, or do not want to talk about it.
Even if the trigger for the programming breaking is an instant event, like a car crash it is not a light bulb moment that you remember everything. The process of recalling is slow and also fraught with difficulties. However mind control can start to break down after the age of 30, according to Cathy O’Brien.
This post has many links to help people with healing - foxblog3 Healing and Therapy Information for Mind Controlled Survivors [1].
Booby Trap Programming
As well as all the other programming, survivors have also been subjected to specific programming in order that they do not recall events and for them to suffer consequences when they do. The cult obviously do not want their members to be brought to account for their crimes, or let the truth be known. Thus they take precautions to install programmes and categories of programmes that are designed to act in various ways so that the victims do not recall what they have experienced…
There are various “booby trap” programming, eg spin programming so that a survivor gets confused and dizzy when they start to recall. There are sleep programmes, migraine programmes, suicide programmes and drug programmes all to prevent memory recall. This means that when someone starts to remember, then a programme initiates that will send the person to sleep, get migraine, take drugs or commit suicide. There are also programmes producing OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) thought loops, depression, anxiety, flooding, flashbacks, suicidal ideation and the desire to self-harm.
Brice Taylor describes…
As I deprogrammed I often mentally bumped into spin, sleep, suicide, migraine, and drug programs that I had to fight through in order to get to the original experiences. I was often physically sick, as my program dictated, and suffered massive migraine headaches and pain in different parts of my body while retrieving this information I'm sharing with you.
The programmed people I have worked with seem to have an obsession with their own birthdays. Once in recovery, unless the suicide programs are disconnected, the desire to kill themselves as they remember their past is overwhelming, especially around the time of their birthday, and this has proven true with each individual I see. Brice Taylor Thanks for the |Memories.
Fiona Barnett also describes similar “booby trap” programming…
…Beside the risks associated with abreaction, know that memory recovery triggers the programmers’ built-in defence system. Each program is connected to a trauma incident which, when remembered, destroys the program. Consequently, programmers do everything to stop victims remembering their trauma. The programmers protect each program with a booby-trap which, when triggered, initiates conditioned pain, OCD thought loops, depression, anxiety, flooding, flashbacks, suicidal ideation, or the desire to self-harm. It is crucial for the victim to realise, these are not her thoughts, behaviours or will, but externally imposed thoughts and feelings. The victim must be relieved of the guilt and blame associated with artificially induced thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This includes being turned into a Manchurian Candidate and made to commit criminal acts they would otherwise shun from had they not been brainwashed zombies. Eyes Wide Open Fiona Barnett [4].
When the survivor does remember, many have parts with photographic memories as part of their “recording” alters, which record everything in all alters to tell to the programmers. Further the trauma and intensity at the time of the memory may make it extra memorable even for a non recording alter, when the trigger for that memory instigates a recall.
If a survivor can overcome all those obstacles then there are all sorts of “silence” or “don’t tell” programming, “can’t hide” programming etc. to convince them that it is impossible to tell or leave the cult.
Abreactions
When recalling, the survivor can suffer abreactions. Fiona Barnett explains what abreaction is…
Freud coined the term abreaction to describe the release of the strong emotion associated with a repressed trauma memory. The emotion became stuck in time at the point of the original childhood trauma and is being properly processed for the first time, though abreaction. When a victim abreacts implicit trauma memories, the mind and body react as though the childhood event is presently happening. Fiona, see Appendix and book.
Fiona then describes an abreaction she went through…
Suddenly, my body spasms in agony as the pain of whole-body electrocution hits. I scream, and scream, and scream at the top of my lungs, while simultaneously burying my being into the lounge, clawing through the fabric, trying to the escape the agony. This is the first time in six years I have abreacted so. The moment passes, and I weep into the pillows. Fiona, Appendix 2.
Kathleen Sullivan, who perhaps covers more on memories than most books, also describes abreactions and part of the problems of recall, including partial memories and sensory overload…
When I was at home, I constantly struggled with sensory overload. Day and night, I endured many visual flashbacks and strong physical and emotional memories known as abreactions. Most of the journals I wrote during that time were about bits and pieces of memory that emerged throughout my waking hours. They were usually visual, odorous, physical, and/or audible. Some days, I had ten or more flashbacks in succession, all of them totally disconnected from each other. Each flashback usually contained no more than a half minute’s worth of memory. Their abruptness made journaling very frustrating, because they had no “before” and no “after.”
As I sat on my bed and journaled some of them, they were like opened doors that led into full memories. And like the ends of threads of individual memories, if I was willing to relax, trust, and follow the threads, the rest of these particular memories came quickly. A new problem soon developed. I was so mentally stuck in the past that I kept forgetting what month or year it now was. To remedy that, I affixed a large calendar to our kitchen wall and I marked off each day. After completing each morning’s journaling, I wrote the current date on the top of the first page. Writing and seeing the current date seemed to help bring me back into the present. Kathleen Sullivan [9], [9a].
Conflict Between Alters
There are programmed parts programmed to ideological opposites eg. Christian v satanist, nazi v communist. A host or front part / alter is often not 100% in charge at a specific moment. Other alters can be at different depths below the surface. If an alter comes close to the surface then that alter may affect what the front alter says and does, and how the front alter behaves.
Very traumatised alters can come up below front part and may well have triggered by something that the host / front alter has experienced but not noticed or reacted to. It can confuse a survivor until they realise what has happened. Only after they realise can they try to find out from the part what the problem was. Obviously depending which alters are close to the surface may change how the front alter acts and what they say.
Front alters of course can switch as well. Add to this that not all alters are very different, there are many alters subdivided from an original alter and even experienced therapists would not be able to tell when some alters have switched. At other times it is obvious with different mannerisms and characters and even eye colour.
Recall Denials
When recalling, the apparent truth may be so overwhelming that the survivor denies it.
More compelling and less consciously available dimensions of denial are when memories of gross violations are so threatening to the psychological and physical integrity of the survivor that recollections are literally split off from consciousness . . . the shattering manner in which torture and atrocity violate the physical and psychological boundaries of survivors frequently causes their recall of events to emerge in ways that may be fragmentary, disconnected and bizarre. Kathleen Sullivan [9a].
End of Part 1.
Hopefully this has helped some people start to see the difficulties that a survivor faces when telling their story. The article got too long to be manageable for me and I am also trying to make my articles shorter for the readers, so this will be followed up in Part 2.
This article was the result of communications with many survivors and I have not credited them by name, as it is safer just now to not do so. However my heartfelt thanks to all who contributed to my understanding, which I have tried to summarise.
Healing - I gave some suggestions as to resources in my post Healing and Therapy Information for Mind Controlled Survivors [1].
Links
[1] 2023 Nov 18 substack foxblog3 Healing and Therapy Information for Mind Controlled Survivors https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/healing-and-therapy-information-for #mkultra #mindcontrol #healing #therapy #links
[2] 2017 Apr 22 cathyfoxblog Kathleen Sullivan – Mind Controlled Slave https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2017/04/22/kathleen-sullivan-mind-controlled-slave/
[3] 2017 Apr 3 cathyfoxblog Brice Taylor 3 Brice Taylor was Hunted by George Bush Senior https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/brice-taylor-was-hunted-by-george-bush-senior/
[4] 2023 Mar 8 substack FoxBlog3 Fiona Barnett Links Summary https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/fiona-barnett-links-summary #fionabarnett #csa #mkultra #ritualabuse
[5] 2023 Nov 5 substack foxblog3 Self Help for MK Ultra Survivors - NWO Programming https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/self-help-for-mk-ultra-nwo-programming #lauraworley #NWOProgramming #NWOarmy #selfhelp #survivorselfhelp
[6] 2024 May 1 foxblog3 Trauma Bonding https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/95-trauma-bonding #traumabonding #ptsd #programming #mindcontrol #mkultra
[7] 2020 Jan 13 foxblog1 Kim Noble No Ordinary Artist https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2020/01/13/kim-noble-no-ordinary-artist/ #kimnoble #mkultra #mindcontrol #art
[8] 2023 Oct 13 foxblog3 Allahu Akbar shouts the Mind Controlled Manchurian Candidate https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/allahu-akbar-shouts-the-mind-controlled #matthewpauly #mindcontrol #manchuriancandidate
[9] Kathleen Sullivan pdf KathleenSullivan-UnshackledA-survivorsStoryOfMindControl2.pdf
[9a] https://archive.org/stream/2003SullivanUnshackledASurvivorsStoryOfMindControl1/2003%20%20Sullivan%20Unshackled%2C%20A%20Survivor%27s%20Story%20of%20Mind%20Control%20%281%29_djvu.txt
[14] 2017 Jun 11 Svali Speaks Again A Day in the Life of a Trainer 2 https://svalispeaksagain.wordpress.com/2017/06/11/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-trainer-2/ mothers limbs cut off
[15] Odysee Fantasia 1940 in English https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/Fantasia---1940-96bd0893dd397dda94e230826ee18121108923e1:3 #fantasia #mkultra #programming #mindcontrol
Appendix 1 Fiona Barnett Eyes Wide Open Abreaction 1
My therapist then asks me the dreaded question I was avoiding – the whole reason for this session: ‘Tell me about Wendy-Louise Walker…’
A vivid scene suddenly appears before me. I am in a little cave chiselled out of the bedrock. Thick black bars are in front of me. The cavern ceiling touches my head, obscures my view of the ‘White Coats’ and the upper part of their torsos as they move about the blackand- white chequered lab floor. It is the cage beneath Holsworthy, only this time it is not a fuzzy dreamy image. This is crisp and clear. This is the same cage where I bonded with the blonde children whom Chang and his Delta soldiers butchered, the same cage in which Chang ordered his dog to rape me, the same cage I was trapped in while the White Coats stood and laughed and mocked as they electrocuted me with cattle prods. One of those White Coats was Antony Kidman. Another was Wendy-Louise Walker.
Then I saw it, a close up of Walker’s creepy face, her bulging eyes staring deep into mine. ‘Was she hypnotising you?’ my therapist guessed the obvious. ‘Yes...’ ‘Now what do you see?’ ‘
They’re tossing me up and down in a white blanket, to teach me the sensation of falling, so they can use it my induction…’ ‘Now what’s happening?’
‘I see a small wading pool with striped sides. I think they’re drowning me in it.’ I cough. ‘I think they’re electrocuting my whole body in it. Is that possible? Can they electrify the water?’
‘Yes, they certainly can.’
Suddenly, my body spasms in agony as the pain of whole-body electrocution hits. I scream, and scream, and scream at the top of my lungs, while simultaneously burying my being into the lounge, clawing through the fabric, trying to the escape the agony. This is thefirst time in six years I have abreacted so. The moment passes, and I weep into the pillows.
Suddenly, I am flooded with scenes of child soldier training at Holsworthy, Jason and our team members encouraging me to keep going, to do things a certain way, to avoid Colonel Chang. ‘I miss my team,’ I quietly sobbed…
The vision suddenly changed again. This time I am looking down into the chaotic cockpit of a helicopter that is out of control and spinning, nose first, toward the ground. ‘I see a helicopter spiralling! Our helicopter is crashing! It’s spinning!’ ‘Okay,’ my therapist asserted, ‘Time to say goodnight to the helicopter. I’m bringing you back now.’
I emerged from the abreaction in shock. I had been triggered by reading Wendy-Louise Walker’s research papers. Fiona
Appendix 2 Eyes Wide Open Fiona Barnett Abreaction 2
ABREACTION
Freud coined the term abreaction to describe the release of the strong emotion associated with a repressed trauma memory. The emotion became stuck in time at the point of the original childhood trauma and is being properly processed for the first time, though abreaction. When a victim abreacts implicit trauma memories, the mind and body react as though the childhood event is presently happening.
So, when I abreacted being flatlined at age 10 years, I was in danger of my heart stopping again in adulthood.
EMDR pioneer Shapiro devoted a significant portion of her original clinical manual to defining and describing abreaction, and to providing guidelines for using EMDR to accommodate abreaction of repressed emotions. On page 96, the author specifically addressed the inherent risks associated with reprocessing near death experiences and torture by electrocution. Shapiro described how practitioners prepared for extreme cases by having resuscitation equipment and medical staff ready.
Abreaction is essential. Presently, I see no other way of processing the emotional trauma associated with extreme abuse. Yet mainstream therapy is changing the definition and therapeutic role of abreaction. One of my therapists argues that abreaction is too traumatising and has no place in the EMDR reprocessing experience. They prefer to focus on how I feel now about my childhood trauma, as an adult reflecting on the abuse, instead of at the time of the childhood abuse. This is the denial approach pushed by Antony Kidman and the APS guidelines on repressed memories
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That was a great read. It triggered a bit of stomach churning though, which is a testament to its veracity. I wish we survivors had a local therapy group to attend, that vetted participants thoroughly.
Hello,
My name is Jeff Weiss. I found out about 14 years, when I was in my early 40's that I was/am a survivor... I am presently on disability...
I do not have a therapist and am straggling greatly... need help.
Can you call me ?
Here is my number: 541.252.0335