Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 10, 46-50
Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 10, 46-50
These articles were published by Svali on a website called Suite 101 between Mar 2000 and at Oct 2002. Svali is an ex high level programmer in the Illuminati. At first she thought she was a US regional programmer until more memories from mind control surfaced and she found she was a high level Jesuit programmer.
The articles are available on the wayback archive but they are valuable so I reproduce them here. The best tradeoff of my time / article accessibility is to do them five at a time. It is easier for me to index them all properly at the end of the whole process, but for now I will just include links at the beginning and end of each post. There will be about 13 posts on this blog at about 3 per day, with 5 Svali posts in each.
Apparently the numbered links which are archive links of the original Suite 101 Svali articles do not work via the email for some reason, you have to go to my article itself and then click on the links.
[46] 2001 Aug 19 Developing Intrasystem Cooperation
[47] 2001 Aug 28 Prejudice Against Survivors
[48] 2001 Sept 11 Eating Disorders and Ritual Abuse
[49] 2001 Sept 19 Satanic Ritual Abuse: The Evidence Surfaces - Daniel Ryder
[50] 2001 Sept 30 Retraumatization
Developing Intrasystem Cooperation
“I don’t like this work. It’s beneath me.” Diamond, one of my “high” alters inside, was complaining about my washing a patient, giving a bedpan and other routines of my job as a nurse. “I like leading,” she continued. “I don’t see how you do this.” “Then help me find a better job”, I told her. “How?” “You’re a leader. You’ll find a way,” I said. She created a committee, and five months later I had a teaching job with better pay.
One of the goals of therapy for dissociation is to create intrasystem cooperation. This means that parts inside will be able to communicate to each other without hostility (which is often the first reaction when different groups meet each other) and be able to work together for the good of the individual. Each person is unique in how they achieve this, but one thing is clear: without intrasystem cooperation, the person’s life will be in chaos. Here, I will share tips that have helped me in my own healing process, in the hope that it may help others understand one method of achieving this.
Early in my therapy process, I became free from the outside influence of people who were extremely controlling in my life (the cult). At that time, my system went into chaos, because there was no OUTSIDE person giving them orders anymore. Inside people were busy dismantling my internal hierarchy, all in the name of “freedom” and “democracy” as a reaction to the lifetime of former feeling that they were under a dictatorship. Daily life became difficult, as different groups inside would play tug of war over their favorite foods; arguments broke out over what career we would pursue, and others fought over time for their activities while others felt left out.
Eventually, I came to realize that I NEEDED some internal structure, and “undoing” the hierarchy inside was leaving my internal ship rudderless. I could barely function. So, I decided to form an internal leadership committee. I envisioned an internal conference room with a large table inside, and invited inside people to come and meet. Unfortunately, literally thousands came, and the noise would not allow any work to get done. I then asked each group of alters to “elect” five representatives of different ages to come to the table. There was much grumbling, but finally I had a group of 75 people representing 15 systems inside at the table. Committee rules were created, such as no interrupting when someone had the floor, no matter how much they were disagreed with. That ALL opinions were to have equal time and be listened to. No abuse inside or outside, even mentally became the cardinal rule.
I also used my imaginative gifts to create a “speaker” for those outside the conference room, so that all could hear what was going on.
The first order of business became to create committees for functionality. I asked the internal leaders present if they would be willing to resume leadership, and help everyone stay free of outside controlling people (the cult). Many agreed. This became the second cardinal rule: leaders must keep us all safe from harm, or give up their position. I and several core splits helped “chair” the meeting.
The leaders then created different committees inside: a grounding committee, to help ground me when memories hit and stay oriented; a nurtering committee, to help frightened littles; a work committee, to function at work and prevent inappropriate dissociation; a “fun” committee to help us have fun, and a “deprogramming” committee to help undo the damage inside.
We agreed to meet daily for a period of several weeks, then twice a week.
Anyone with a problem or complaint could voice it at meetings. Not all meetings were happy gatherings, since there was a lot of rivalry and hostility at first meeting between different groups. I had to create a “DMZ” for my military system, since they were literally shooting other alters inside. A negotiating committee of helpers and others who could be calm and unbiased inside was created to help defuse intrasystem hostilities. One approach that worked was to listen thoroughly and completely to the stated needs and complaints of alters inside whose agenda was quite different from “normal” to say the least. If they were not listened to, they tended to try and sabotage work inside. Compromise was reached at times, as long as the cardinal rules were not broken.
This process of creating internal committees took several months, with ups and downs. At times, I felt my inside people had gone “committee happy” with so many groups. But my functionality went up and there was more open communication inside. There was much less hostility and self sabotage. I felt safer, since I had created a “safety committee” whose sole job was to keep me safe. A ton of protectors volunteered for this one, and it kept them occupied and happy at what they did best.
What I didn’t realize it that this was also integrative work. All I wanted was less chaos and to be able to do things. But as people inside talked, got to know each other, the thousands inside became fewer.
Memory committees were created to help us with the memory process. They set up a five year treatment plan and presented it to our therapist (who was astounded, to say the least!). Internal therapists created an internal therapy group. An internal committee to promote groups coming together was made. An internal “prayer” group prayed for those who were hurting inside.
It worked. I was able to work full time, and work and progress in therapy. In fact, MOST of my healing work was done outside of therapy, by the committees. As time has gone on, the committees have become good friends inside. There is more democracy as inside people are used to freedom from outside control, and new choices are explored. Also, there is more and more a sense that we are all working together as one person, that each group is an expression of that person, her gifts and talents and abilities. And that we are slowly but surely reaching towards healing.
[46] 2001 Aug 19 Developing Intrasystem Cooperation https://web.archive.org/web/20021108152522/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/77721
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Prejudice Against Survivors
I had been out of the cult for almost 8 months and felt alone and isolated. I had been going to a large metropolitan church in the city that I was living in, and had seen a Bible Study for survivors of sexual abuse advertised in the church bulletin. It was just starting up for the fall, and I decided to visit it.
During the first meeting there were 14 women present, and they were asked to introduce themselves and share a little of their background, whatever was comfortable for them. The women one by one shared why they were there; some were very explicit and graphic in their discussion of the sexual abuse they had undergone.
When it was my turn, I simply said, “I can relate to almost everyone here. I am a survivor of ritual abuse, and was molested by everyone in my immediate family at one point, and I’m glad to be here.”
That was it.
The next day, I received a phone call from the leader of the Bible Study. “Please don’t come back,” she said. “The other leader and I can’t handle the fact that you came from this background.”
I was devastated. Apparently it was okay to have been sexually abused in this church, but they set the line with ritual abuse.
Unfortunately, this was only the first of several experiences that I went through, until I finally learned my lesson. To not share my past with anyone in the church, because they can’t handle it. I had gone to one church until a few months ago, and had privately shared my past with the pastor when asking for prayer for my children to help him better understand how to pray for them.
He literally backed away from me, and said, “This is more than I can handle knowing about.” He never spoke to me again.
In another church, I visited the deliverance team, who told me that DID and alternate personalities are really demons to be exorcised. I was “holding onto demons” if I had personalities.
I joined another Bible study at another church for those struggling with sexual brokenness. The leaders of this group would interview those entering the program. I was getting smarter by now, so I told them, “I have a background of ritual abuse but I won’t bring it up at all during discussion times, I promise.”
“Are you multiple?” I was asked in accusing tones.
“Yes, but I can control my switching and won’t be inappropriate during meetings.”
I was allowed to visit on “probation” and told that if I ever switched once, I would be forced to leave the study. I went, and after four months the leader was surprised and amazed.
“You’ve been a real blessing to us here, “ she exclaimed. “I thought all multiples were strange.”
But I made a mistake. A few weeks later, when discussing why I felt broken sexually and had male tendencies at times, a male alter who was quiet and appropriate came out and discussed his emotional pain. The only problem is, he had a slight Irish accent and so others could tell that I “switched.”
The leaders met with me and told me this was unacceptable since he was “demonic”. I left the study, crying.
I have not found a church yet in my own life that understands or accepts the reality of ritual abuse.
I wish that I were not alone in this. I believe that this is one of the number one problems today for a survivor leaving a cult group. They are literally giving up everything emotionally important to themselves in their lives: their family of origin, their closest friends, even spouses who are members of the group. They are looking for understanding and support, and instead are met by unbelief (this stuff doesn’t happen in this day and age), or else intense rejection. In most churches, it is okay to be a recovering alcoholic, a recovering addict, or even the victim of domestic violence, but it is not okay to have been the victim of ritual abuse.
It frightens people. They don’t want to see living proof that it really does happen, and will turn their heads the other way. This doesn’t mean that all churches respond this way, but a very large percentage of them do (the majority in fact; the ones that don’t are the rare and encouraging minority).
Others have shared their pain when the body of Christ, called to minister to its wounded, instead either adds to the wounding, or worse yet, isolates and ignores them.
Karen is a wonderful, loving, and compassionate Christian survivor who has helped to found a support group for other ritual abuse survivors and was told that her dissociation and DID were “attention seeking” devices. Here is her response:
“You know I love it when I hear people use the 'attention seekers' routine. I think to myself (someday I may have the nerve to actually say it)...."Yeah, I just love the rejection of it all."
She said that sometimes she wants to respond back in kind,” Maybe something like saying to these people, "I didn't know you were such an advocate for Satan. He too, likes to bring condemnation to people!" I better stop now.....before I really get going and forget the One who never rejects or condemns us.”
Karen has found, like many other survivors, that God loves her and cares for her even when His body can’t.
Alice shares her experience within her church: “He (her pastor) even chose this woman to be my "care giver", well, after a few years of what I thought was a wonderful, loving relationship, come to find out she was casting out demons when I left, blaming everything that went wrong in her life and her children's on ME! I'm surprised she was able to hug me as she did without shuddering in disgust...”
She tried going to a deliverance seminar to become free of the demonic and to find healing: ” Another thing were these "Cleansing Streams Ministry" retreats/seminars that i would go to...my gosh, they talked about freedom from bondage from SRA and all sorts of things..i mean I thought they covered it all, but because i was acting out/alters acting out..i mentioned this before, they said that they would not pray for me because i was uncooperative..and again, i got called names and shunned..I mean once is bad enough but i went to about four or five of these "retreats" with the promise that the next time would be a charm..and each one was a disaster, and i got yelled at, shunned, and people would not pray for me. Heck, the last one I couldn't even get a ride home!! I scared the couple off that was supposed to take me home..(it was out of state), my caregiver came and reamed me out, and another told me to quit game playing, and i blew up at them..left in tears with my bags packed and roamed (name of city deleted to protect survivor’s identity)..met up with someone who helped me get a bus home..what should have been a 7 hour trip for me, took at least 15 hours by bus, because i was so kind of leper.
Yeah, they talked about freedom from SRA, but apparently, I was the only one dealing with that and mind control and DID, and to them, i was a super possessed demon and they couldn't cast me out of me, and since my "demons" wouldn't flee, I was ostracized.”
Experiences such as this do not bring healing, deliverance, or the feeling that the survivor can trust the body of Christ when they are trying to become free of cult control and the demonic influences within. It is fairly obvious that this ministry did not understand DID or how to help someone with alternate personalities who are wounded.
Joann’s experience was more subtle, but a common one that survivors of severe torture and ritual abuse in the church frequently face. She faced the denial of those in the church, and intense pressure to be normal and functional in spite of great emotional pain: “One church I was going to my Pastor was my T. People in the church thought I was acting and should be able to hold down a job. I was a mess then, more so than now. The Pastor said I HAD to get a job and prove to everyone that I was stable. He and lots of other church members harrassed me all the time about being stable. I couldn't be, I was a mess, full of lots of programming and breaking down big time. He would call demons to the forefront and have littles look at them in the mirror to prove that they had demons. He did all kinds of things like that that totally horrified the littles inside.”
This was an extremely traumatizing situation for her child alters, but there is more:
”My Pastor's wife at the present called women in the church and told them I was just acting. I have been accused of being a plant in the church, being there to destroy the church and everything else, all the while I was cleaning the church, going witnessing with the church twice a week, doing all the typing for the church, everything I could do to serve God. I to this day still am fighting against serving God. not because of God, but because I don't trust what anyone says God wants me to do. I now only want to hear it straight from God. I got misled soooo many times by people using God's will against me. How do they know? God will guide me!
Guess I am pretty angry, too, at all these Christians who know I am a demon supposedly and am acting and everything else. Oh yes,and that I am going against God's Word for dealing with memories, wanting truth about my memories and everything. I am wrong according to them for needing memories to have my identity back, that my identity is in Christ. They do not understand that that goes along with programming. I feel like all I do is run into walls and blocks and cannot get anywhere. How can I live in truth and face truth if I am not allowed to deal with all the lies they programmed into me? i am so fed up with hearing this stuff all the time. “
Joann finishes with her conclusion on why she went through this at her church: “It is so hard to understand. People don't want to know what is really going on out there, they like their safe made up worlds, and don't want the reality. They don't want to come out of their sheltered boxes they made and have to deal with anything outside of their own selves.”
Kylie agrees with the above assessment and shares her opinion on why there is prejudice against ritual abuse survivors in the church and society at large: “ I have had similar things happen to me with the church. It seems most people.......not just church people.........don't want to know about the dark side of things and prefer to think that it does not really exist..........so they do not hear what I have to say and avoid talking about it. Most prefer to hide their head in the sand. I am learning to wait until the Lord leads me to speak with those who have ears to hear. It is a great disappointment. It does freak people out that sra exists........I think it did just about that to all of us. I think it is too shocking for many to hear about suddenly. I believe education can help; but most cannot handle too much too soon. When that happens, they end up saying we are crazy because they cannot cope with our stories. “
Finally, Sally shares her pain at not being able to share with others her past and find understanding: “ It boggles my mind that all our lives we were taught to be quiet, keep it quiet and we get away and we still can't talk!!! No one wants to hear that..reminds me of a lady i used to have to work with..she refused to watch news or read the paper because she didn't want to know what was going on in the world..she wanted to believe none of that existed..so she continued to live in her little world..”
Sally shares her experiences at church: “Well, they balk at me for one thing..while some truly seem compassionate..most actually fear me..they never call me, I have called some and they are so nervous to talk..I know I come across quite strangely here, but in a normal and not "frenzied" state, I do not bite, I do not have fangs, I do not drink blood..but you would think it the way they avoid me like the plague..
I get the sideway glances at church and murmurs..
I have had some come up to me and accuse me of "playing games". Another accused me of seeking attention and acting out! I mean things like that stay with you.
I'm sorry, but this is a touchy subject for me too..It took me years and years to get the courage to attend church and then I was made to believe that christians were this special breed, so full of love and compassion and they will just take me under their wings and accept and love and care for me like never before..what a joke and what kind of breed are they? I don't mean to be so critical sounding, but I have encountered so many hypocrites in church people, that i am almost ashamed to even call myself one..I am a terrible christian by the way, in case you haven't noticed by now..I have a lot of pent up resentment, but I still keep plugging through..”
Jackie has worked through for herself why there is such a lack of acceptance of survivors and shares her insights:
“I think what I have learned in therapy is that not everyone has the capacity to "hear" the intense pain that we have experienced from the extreme abuse we have suffered. My therapist has admitted to me that even though he is trained to hear, to listen, it is sometimes hard for him to know that someone could be so horribly abused in this country in this time period.
Last summer he worked with trauma survivors in Bosnia and the Ukraine with a group of therapist volunteering time in these war torn areas. There are children there that have seen many atrocities...there are parents there who have seen their children murdered...the difference in my miind is that the humanity is willing to document these sorts of traumas...so in my mind it is not that no one hears, but that people choose not to believe.
I have learned to accept that some people will never hear...never believe, but there are also people who will never hear about Jesus or believe that Jesus is God/Savior, but that doesn't negate the fact that Jesus is Lord and Savior.”
These are quotes from just a few survivors, myself included, who have experienced the at times extremely wounding prejudice against survivors. It appears that society at large, and all too often the church as well, are not willing to acknowledge the reality of ritual abuse, or the special needs that survivors have.
My greatest hope is that as time goes on, this can change. That more churches other than the isolated few will have a desire to learn more about this, and to help those who are struggling to get out of a coercive and controlling group. I personally believe that within the next ten years there will be a literal flood of people leaving this group, a kind of “last chance to get out” as it were because of the group’s agenda. But my question is, will the church be ready with trained, equipped, and most of all, compassionate people to help them? I leave this as a matter of prayer and hope that the answer will be “yes”.
[47] 2001 Aug 28 Prejudice Against Survivors https://web.archive.org/web/20020617080429/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/78508
Eating Disorders and Ritual Abuse
“You’re putting on a little weight,” my stepfather noted. I had gone away to school that year, and had gained five pounds. He was teasing me when I came home to visit. I was 14 years old, and decided to start dieting. I was an instant success at dieting strenuously, since my iron self-control and discipline had taught me to ignore my body’s signals since early childhood. I was proud of my ability to eat tiny amounts in spite of severe hunger. I lost weight quickly. “You’re too thin, I can see every rib,” my roommate at school that year told me. “I’m getting worried about you.” “No, I’m fat,” I insisted. I looked in the mirror and saw someone who was obese, who had to lose more weight to be okay. Why couldn’t others see how fat I was? Several weeks later, my mother had to come and get me. My liver had shut down, and I was hospitalized. I was 5 feet 10 inches tall and weighed 90 pounds. I was still insisting that I was too fat. I came close to dying from this disorder as I entered my teen years and it would be years before I came close to a normal body weight. I never received treatment from a therapist for it, because my parents didn’t believe in therapyt. Instead, I was given a programming command to “eat, don’t die” from my mother when I refused to eat after I was discharged home. I shook and shook for hours, and finally picked up the spoon and swallowed some soup.
When a young child is systematically deprived of food and water to teach them a lesson or to break them down and make them more accessible to programming messages, it has a long-term psychological effect. Starvation and deprivation are all primary parts of many programming sequences that are done on children starting as young as age 2 in the Illuminati.
The child will be desperate to eat once the deprivation is over, and will associate eating with the comfort of the adults around him/her. Food becomes one more area that is controlled by the adults and the trainers, and the child early begins to realize this. While very young, the child cannot control how much food they are allowed to eat, or if they are allowed to eat.
Cult parents, building upon the lessons learned at night, may also systematically starve the child during the daytime, or punish the child who dares to eat because they are hungry.
Later in life, it is not surprising to find that many survivors of ritual abuse and cult programming have eating disorders.
There are several types of eating disorders. One is anorexia nervosa, in which the person struggling with this disorder starves themselves. Anorexia has many causes, but a root need for control and underlying depression has been noted by therapists who work with it, combined with a negative self image and self hatred. The self-hatred becomes focused on body image and fat. Some survivors with this disorder have confided that they starved themselves as adolescents to delay the onset of menstruation, to delay the development of breasts, or other characteristics. Others with male alters wanted the flat chest that being thin can bring. And others starve themselves to numb the pain. Current research into anorexia is showing that high serotonin levels are associated with anxiety and feeling distressed, and some researchers have theorized that starvation decreases this excess serotonin and effectively helps to block these uncomfortable feelings.
Another eating disorder is known as bulimia. This disorder is characterized by swings between bingeing, or eating large amounts of food (often past the point of discomfort) within a short period of time, and then purging the body of the calories or food. Purging is accomplished by taking laxatives, vomiting, taking diuretics, excessive exercise, or starvation after bingeing. Often the person with bulimia feels that they cannot control their binges, and feel ashamed afterwards. The purging is “punishment” for eating.
Janna struggled with bulimia for years. She never told anyone, not even her sister or best friends. It started her senior year in high school when she had gained some weight. Desperate to shed pounds, she began vomiting after eating large measl. She also began using laxatives to “clear out” the calories. “I knew I needed help,” she states, “But I was ashamed to tell anyone.” Finally, at the age of 27, her bulimia was out of control. It seemed to get worse when she was stressed, and being promoted to a management position made it intensity. At that point she entered counseling, and began looking at some of the causes of the depression and pain that had filled her life for as long as she could remember.
The third eating disorder recognized by experts is known as binge disorder. Like bulimia, the person has uncontrollable food cravings, and will binge to the point of abdominal pain in some cases. Favorite foods are hoarded, and the binge eater will often binge in secret, eating very little in front of others. The person struggling with this disorder is often highly distressed because they feel that they can’t stop themselves from bingeing. Usually this person is overweight, and struggles with the problems that this causes.
Sarah hides donuts in her house, and also has other favorite foods. “I once ate a whole cheesecake at one sitting” she admits. She hates being overweight, and acknowledges, “My doctor said that this weight is killing me, putting my life at risk. I would give anything to be able to slim down.” But she also struggles with other feelings. “Being this large makes me feel safe, though, “ she confides. “I know that men won’t look at me.” This is important to her, since she has been sexually abused by all the men in her family of origin.
Cult programming, sexual abuse, and the pain of trauma all contribute to the eating disorders that survivors often struggle with. The reasons for coping with an eating disorder are often complex, and frequently unconscious. A child who was starved during preschool years may be left with “food anxiety”, hoarding food around the house to ensure that they will never go hungry again. Child alters who are chronically hungry due to these experiences may switch out at night, and the survivor wakes up to an empty candy bag or plates with leftover desserts on the night table.
In some cases, in spite of the health risks (all eating disorders are dangerous) the survivor will persist in an unconscious desire to punish their body, and to inflict illness or pain on themselves. In others, the desire can even escalate to a death wish and be part of a suicide program.
Cindy is 34, model beautiful, and bright. Her heart is failing because she continues to starve herself. “I know I might die, that I have to eat, my doctor has told me this over and over, “ she shrugs and smiles. “It wouldn’t be a big loss, would it?” She finds it difficult to believe that she is cared for and considered a wonderful person by others, as she struggles with the internal messages of degradation and pain inside. “My mother beat me over and over if I ate too much when I was little, “ she shares. “Maybe that’s one reason I have trouble giving myself permission to eat now.”
Healing from an eating disorder is often a lengthy process that involves overcoming the denial that exists (the survivor often feels that there isn’t really a problem, that friends and family members are worrying too much).
Therapy with someone who understands both the underlying trauma, and also working with a registered dietitian, can be invaluable. Learning how the survivor feels about food, and what has shaped those feelings, and how they feel about themselves, is part of the process.
If programming is driving the disorder, it is also important to look at how it was done, and why. Survivors have reported programming to “overeat to death” or to “starve to death” in many cases, especially if they try to leave the cult group.
Healing a distorted body image, and learning to love themselves in spite of their weight, and learning normal eating patterns can help. Traumatized child alters can be reassured that the survivor won’t allow them to go hungry, and planning meals to allow these parts a chance to choose favorite foods can help cut down on night time or amnesic binges. Each person is unique, and will have their own individual issues to deal with as they heal. In partnership with a qualified therapist, and with increased cooperation inside, healing is possible.
Resources: There are many excellent resources online for information about eating disorders. The following are just a few:
The Alliance for Eating Disorders Awareness This site created by Johanna S. Kandel contains excellent articles and information about different types of eating disorders, with special sections for teens and parents.
http://www.eatingdisorderinfo.org/
The Body Cage This site contains a highly personal look at eating disorders as well as links and information on diagnosis and treatment.
http://www.bodycage.com/
International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals This site has been created to provide support and information to professionals working in the field of eating disorders, and includes information on professional conferences.
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders One of the oldest associations set up to help those with eating disorders, this site has a hotline for those in crisis, and a referral list and support groups for those seeking treatment. There is also a resource list at their site.
The National Eating Disorders Information center This organization dedicated to helping those with eating disorders includes a glossary of terms related to eating disorders, information for support people, and recommended books.
Something Fishy This web site contains outstanding articles, links, and information/support for the person who wants to learn more about eating disorders and their treatment.
http://www.something-fishy.com/
[12] 2001 Sept 11 Eating Disorders and Ritual Abuse https://web.archive.org/web/20020613135924/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/79684
Satanic Ritual Abuse: The Evidence Surfaces
YOU DON’T HAVE TO PLAY ME BACKWARDS... SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE: THE EVIDENCE SURFACES Daniel Ryder, CCDC, LSW
The following lyrics are from a song about Satanic ritual abuse off Joan Baez's latest album, Play Me Backwards. Incidentally, it's the lead song.
"You don't have to play me backwards To get the meaning of my verse. You don't have to die and go to hell To feel the devil's curse."
It's not only the "devil's curse" survivors of Satanic ritual abuse have been feeling of late. They have also been feeling the curse of a pronounced societal backlash. In some circles now, the stories of some of the most heinous abuse imaginable - sexual abuse, brainwashing, torture, murder/sacrifice - are being labeled as "patently false." Therapists are being accused of planting these memories. And, for instance, the FBI has come out debunking the phenomenon, saying, unequivocally, there is no tangible evidence organized Satanic ritual abuse exists at all.
However, my research shows it does exist. And indications are we are only seeing the tip of the iceberg of a social phenomenon that, when totally exposed, will rock the core of societal beliefs.
For the last four years, I have crises-crossed the country interviewing cult researchers, ritual crime investigators, task force members, therapists, investigative reporters, cult survivors...as part of an in-depth investigation on the issue of Satanic ritual abuse. And, the research has yielded some extremely eye-opening things. The most eye-opening hasn't been the mutilated backwoods remains of a cult victim's body in Massachusetts. It wasn't the bloody pentagram carved into a cult victim's corpse in San Francisco. The most eye-opening, has been a widely cited Law Enforcement Perspective report out of the FBI's Behavioral Science Center in Quantico, Virginia.
The report was written by supervisory special agent Kenneth Lanning. It has gone out to law enforcement agencies around the country; and has been cited consistently throughout the media the last several years.
The report states, in regards to "organized" Satanic ritual abuse homicide (that is, two or more Satanic cult members conspiring to commit murder): "The law enforcement perspective can’t ignore the lack of physical evidence (no bodies, or even hairs, fibers, or fluids left by violent murders."
No bodies? The following is an excerpt from a March 13, 1981, UPI article: "Fitchburg, Mass. -- The alleged leader of a devil worship cult was found guilty of first degree murder Friday in the ritual killing of a young Fall River, Mass. prostitute last year. Carl Drew, 26, stood pale and expressionless as the verdict was announced. He was immediately sentenced to life imprisonment by superior court judge Francis W. Keating...Miss Marsden was allegedly killed, mutilated and beheaded by Drew and two others in a blood-soaked night time ritual in a wooded area because she wanted to leave the cult."
In 1993, House Bill 1689 was introduced in the Massachusetts Legislature. It is a bill prohibiting "Certain Ritualistic Acts." Some of these acts include: ritual mutilation, dismemberment, torture, the sacrifice of animals, humans...(A similar bill was passed in Idaho in 1990).
Also, in the 1993 Avon Books release: Raising Hell, author/investigative reporter Michael Newton writes, "While some cult apologists may be forgiven their ignorance of current events, (FBI) Agent Lanning -- with access to nationwide police files -- should know better. As this volume amply demonstrates, cult related killers stand convicted of murder in 23 states and at least nine foreign countries. Numerous other occultists are now serving time for practicing their "faith" through acts of arson, rape, assault, cruelty to animals, and similar crimes."
The organization, Looking Up, founded initially as a nationwide support/referral program for incest survivors, serves approximately 15,000 people a year, 40% of whom now are reporting they are dealing with ritualistic or cult related abuse. According to a spokesperson for JUSTUS Unlimited in Denver, a non-profit referral and resource center, they are currently receiving more than 7,000 Satanic ritual abuse related calls a year. (What’s more, they are also hearing from all over the world: Australia, New Zealand, England, The Netherlands, Germany, Israel, Canada...)
Given the tangible evidence now surfacing, and given the volume of people reporting Satanic cult related abuse, it would seem curious the FBI would come out with such a definitive stance attempting to discredit the increasing phenomenon. Of course, then again, it was the same FBI that for more than the first half of this century consistently said there was no evidence whatsoever of another type of "organized" criminal activity. That is -- Mafia related crime.
Actually, Satanic cults are somewhat similar to Mafia crime families. There is, for instance, extreme secrecy through code of silence programming. This is usually initiated with the signing of a "blood" contract. Wendell Amstutz, author of Satanism in America, said these contracts are generally signed in the initiate’s own blood. The contract, said Amstutz, usually demands life-long obedience. And breaking it means death.
And that'’s exactly what it meant for the four California Satanic cult defectors one fateful night in 1990. The defectors were tracked to an apartment on, of all places, Elm Street in the small town of Salida.
The defectors were beaten and stabbed. Finally, they were decapitated. What was left behind rivaled the carnage of the Tate-LaBianca crime scene. The trail led back to five Satanic cult members, and the story began to unfold... The five who were indicted were part of a 55-member Satanic cult that was operating out of a compound in Salida. Cult members stretched across a three-county are, with a number of them holed-up in a Salida compound (homes and trailers), somewhat similar to Waco’s Branch Davidian complex. Except for one thing: What was going on in the Salida compound for the most part made what was going on in Waco seem like a Disney production.
Randy Cerny, Director of the Northern Chapter of California’s Ritual Crime Investigator’s Association, had followed the cult closely. And after the indictments, he interviewed several of the cult members and reviewed extensive diaries they’d kept.
He said the cult worshipped Satan, followed the teachings of renowned Satanist Aleister Crowley, engaged in sexual abuse, ritual torture including electric shock, child abuse, murder...In other words, many of the same things Satanic ritual abuse survivors have been consistently reporting.
Cerny also said it was reported cult members were from all walks of life. This even included a dentist, a minister, and a woman enrolled in a law enforcement class at a local community college. (Satanic cult members aren’t, by any means, always tattooed teen bikers who have listened to one too many Metallica albums, Often, Satanic ritual abuse survivors report their cult perpetrators are respected members of the community: doctors, law enforcement officials, PTA members, little league coaches...This all, apparently, is part of the facade.)
One of the Matomoros cult members responsible for some of the 13 grisly murder/sacrifices in Mexico a few years back, was majoring in law enforcement at Texas Southmost College at the time she was arrested.
"The California cult was a very secretive, close-knit, sophisticated group," said Cerny.
The Satanic cult was run under the iron fist of charismatic leader, high priest, Gerald Cruz. And, as David Koresh had done in Waco, Cruz used sleep deprivation, brainwashing, torture...to keep members in line. At a trial in Oakland in December, 1992, cult expert and psychologist, Daniel Goldstine, would characterize Cruz as "evil and sadistic."
The jury thought so too. Cruz and two other cult members were sentenced to death for the murders. Two other cult members got life. "Now let’s project this 20 to 25 years down the road," Cerny continued. "Say someone walks into a police department or therapist’s office and says, ‘I’m starting to have memories that my dad was a leader of this Satanic cult in California. And they would brainwash people, torture them with electric shock, sexually abuse me, sacrifice animals, kill people...’ "
Cerny wondered if that would all be passed off as a "false memory." Nationally syndicated columnist Molly Ivins might well have passed it off as just that. In a May, 1994, column, Ms. Ivins wrote: "...social workers who deal with child abuse have nightmares about the people who come up with patently false recovered memories of Satanic ritual abuse."
Monika Beerle seemed to be nobody’s "false recovered memory." The following is a February 18, 1992, Newsday article excerpt: New York -- Members of a cult here killed ballerina Monika Beerle in August, 1989, and then dismembered her and fed her flesh to the homeless as part of a Satanic ritual, law enforcement sources said yesterday after arresting a cult member in connection with the slaying. "The public isn’t generating enough momentum to get police mobilized around this (Satanic ritual abuse) issue at this point," explained Akron, Ohio Police Captain Jerry Foys. And John Hunt, Sherman, Texas ritual crime investigator says that "because of the FBI report, the stigma around Satanism and other factors have made it hard to get internal police department support in following up on the ritual aspects of a crime."
Hunt and Foys both said they believe the Satanic ritual abuse is quite widespread -- and extremely dangerous.
It definitely proved dangerous for an alcoholic drifter known only as John Doe No. 60, whose body was found in San Francisco. According to a May 6, 1988, San Francisco Chronicle article: "The victim had a pentagram carved into his chest, lash marks across his buttocks, a stab wound to his neck, wax in his right eye and hair, and a sliced lip. The naked body was virtually drained of blood." Clifford St. Joseph, 46, was eventually convicted and sentenced to 34 years to life for the killing.
In his book, Raising Hell, Michael Newton writes when police came to St. Joseph’s apartment nine days after the body was found, they found St. Joseph dressed in a black robe, companion Michael Bork, 26, stripped to the waist, his face daubed with cosmetics, and another man, Edward Spela, 26, passed out from drugs. In the middle of the room was a 19-year old man, who was laying on the floor, handcuffed and surrounded by candles.
According to the San Francisco Chronicle: "Investigators said that St. Joseph appeared to be part of a Satanic cult that involved men of means in San Francisco’s gay community."
Again, John Doe No. 60’s mutilated body was real. It was nobody’s false memory. A term popular culture has latched onto tightly in the last couple of years is the very clinical sounding, false memory syndrome. It is a term coined by the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania based False Memory Syndrome Foundation (FMSF), which is an advocacy group for people whose children have accused them of either sexual abuse and/or Satanic ritual abuse.
Despite its scientific sounding title, there is actually no such thing as a clinically acknowledged category for "false memory syndrome," reports Judith Herman, an associate clinical professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and author of the book, Trauma and Recovery. "The very name FMSF is prejudicial and misleading," said Dr. Herman. "There is no such syndrome, and we have no evidence reported memories are false. We only know they are disputed."
Many professionals dealing with Satanic ritual abuse believe we are seeing the beginnings of a phenomenon that might well mushroom into staggering proportions. And they draw a parallel to the amazing evolution of the sexual abuse field. "As recently as the 1970s," said Herman, "rape was considered rare, and incest was regarded as a universal taboo. Less than twenty years ago, for example, the Comprehensive Textbook of Psychiatry estimated the prevalence of all forms of incest at one case per million population. And popular and professional literature [as in the case with SRA survivors now] routinely questioned the character of victims, and disparaged the credibility of women who made claims of assault. Today, however, widespread sexual abuse/incest has been extensively documented." In the case of false memory allegations, perhaps we should be spending a bit more time actually questioning the character of some of those accusing the "alleged" victims of confabulation. And perhaps we should start at the False Memory Syndrome Foundation itself.
The following is an excerpt from a February 29, 1992, FMSF Newsletter where the organization claims it is: "...not in the business of representing pedophiles...We are a good-looking bunch of people: graying hair, well-dressed, healthy, smiling...Just about every person is someone you would likely find interesting and want to count as a friend."
Joan Baez's song goes on: Let the night begin There’s a pop of skin And a sudden rush of scarlet There’s a little boy riding on a goat’s head And a little girl playing the harlot It’s a sacrifice in an empty church Sweet little baby Rose...
A Fall 1989 Cleveland Plain Dealer article excerpt reads: Three Norwalk area residents charged with opening two graves, beheading the corpses and stealing the skulls, were part of a cult that had recently gotten instructions on how to sacrifice babies to Satan, Norwalk police said yesterday. "We’re taking this very seriously," he [Police Chief Gary Dewalt] said."Maybe society should take the police chief's lead, in a lot of different areas regarding this problem. For one, many youth are bombarded with Satanic symbols, images, lyrics...One area where it is probably the most prevalent is in the heavy/black metal music scene. For instance, the heavy metal band Venom sings:
"Candles glowing, altars burn Virgin’s death is needed ther Sacrifice to Lucifer my master Bring the chalice, raise the knife Welcome to my sacrifice..."
Just a passing phase kids go through? Just lyrics? May 5, 1993 -- Three eight year old boys were riding their bikes down a country road in West Memphis, Arkansas. Suddenly they were forced off the road and horribly killed. One of the suspects accused in the murders, Jessie Lloyd Miskelly, Jr., 17 according to wire service reports, told police that the murders were tied to a teen Satanic cult sacrifice. "Miskelly said the children were lured into a wooded are of West Memphis known as Robin Hood Park, choked until they were unconscious, then brutalized in various ways -- including rape..." According to a March 8, 1994 article on the trial appearing in the West Memphis The Commercial Appeal: "A witness last week told him Baldwin (one of the accused) told him he sucked the blood from one victim after he mutilated him." Diaries indicated the Satanic cult in Salida, California, followed the teachings of renowned Satanist Aleister Crowley. In his book, Magick in Theory and Practice, Crowley wrote, "The blood is the life...any living thing is the storehouse of energy...at the death of the animal this energy is liberated suddenly. The animal should therefore be killed within the Circle, or Triangle, so that it’s energy cannot escape...For the highest spiritual working one must accordingly choose that victim which the greatest and purest force. A male child of perfect innocence is the most satisfactory and suitable victim."
There's a good bet that seven year old Yvando Caetano, like most seven year olds, was living a life in "perfect innocence" in the small town of Guaratuba, Brazil. This may well have been the precipitating factor in his death. According to a July 28, 1992, Cable News Network (CNN) report/transcript, Yvando was found in a shallow grave. His arms and legs had been dismembered, his internal organs cut out. Ritual implements used during the ceremony were also found near the body.
Investigator Jose Moscic Favetti said police believed the mayor’s wife and daughter were involved with a Satanic cult, and that the wife had paid five cult members to sacrifice Yvando to Satan -- in return for the mayor having a good political year.
"The stories (about different aspects of cult rituals) are very much the same, whether it’s someone reporting about a ceremony in Melbourne, Australia, Vermont, Utah..." said Dr. Judianne Densen-Gerber. "This leads me to believe, not only are the cults all over, but because of the similarities, many are also networked." Dr. Densen-Gerber is a New York Psychiatrist who has treated a number of SRA survivors since 1980. She also has a law degree, and is the founder of PACT (Protect America’s Children Today).
Are American children in danger because of these Satanic cults? Well, the small town in Brazil might provide some clues. Besides the death of 7-year old Yvando in July, 10 other children had come up missing in Guarutuba since January of that year.
According to Brandon Perez, initial Development Director of the National Missing Children’s Center, based in Houston, Texas, there are currently some 4000,000 abductions a year in the United States of which, said Perez, almost 50% of the children are never found. Perez added that many of these cases are not adequately tracked.
In his book, The Franklin Cover-up: Child Abuse, Satanism and Murder in Nebraska, author and former Nebraska State Senator John DeCamp interviewed 28 year veteran FBI agent Ted Gunderson. Since his retirement from the FBI, Gunderson has been actively investigating reports of Satanic ritual abuse.
DeCamp writes: "Evidence from Gunderson’s investigations has convinced him tens of thousands of children or young people disappear from their homes each year, and that many of them are ritualistically sacrificed...nobody knows the true figure because the FBI doesn’t keep count. Gunderson observes, ‘The FBI has an accurate count on the number of automobiles stolen every year. It knows the number of homicides, rapes, and robberies, but the FBI has no idea of the number of children who disappear every year. They simply do not ask for the statistics.’ Gunderson goes onto say he believes they don’t ask for the statistics, simply, because they don’t want to see them. "They would be confronted with an instant public outcry for action, because the figures would show a major social problem that would demand action.’"
And it’s not just the tragedy of the missing children that come up dead as a result of this savage cult abuse -- there are many children that are "walking wounded." Pamela Hudson, LCSW, a child therapist with a county health outpatient department in northern California began to identify the symptoms of SRA in several children who had been referred to her in 1985. What was to follow was a most frightening phenomenon. Throughout the remainder of 1985 and into 1986, twenty-four children, all from the same day care center, all exhibiting varying degrees of ritual abuse symptoms, were brought to her by concerned parents. (What was even more amazing, said Hudson, was that the cases came to her individually, without the parents initially talking among each other.)
Some of the symptoms included frequent night terrors, night sweats, extreme separation anxiety, uncontrolled vomiting, 3,4, and 5 year olds acting out sexually in bizarre, sadistic manners...all indicators of significant trauma. As Hudson continued to work with the children, the Satanic ritual abuse stories started to surface: the children reported being locked in cages, buried for short periods in coffins, injected with drugs, defecated and urinated on, sexually abused, forced to watch animal and human sacrifice...
Hudson took the information to authorities, but the District Attorney’s office decided not to prosecute. A disappointed Hudson said she attributes the decision to the lack of physical evidence, and the children being perceived as too young, and also considered too emotionally traumatized for the stories to appear credible to a jury.
However, several years later, a jury in Austin, Texas, did find children’s stories of sexual and Satanic ritual abuse credible enough to put Fran’s Day Care directors, Fran and Dan Keller, in prison for extended sentences. (The Kellers aren’t eligible for parole until 2004.)
As with the case in California, the children talked of extreme forms of abuse: being threatened with guns, being buried alive, forced to make pornographic movies, watch an infant sacrifice...
In addition, my research has also turned up similar day care and school SRA cases in Florida, several more in California, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and in Christchurch, New Zealand.
The longest trial in American history, California’s McMartin Day School case, was one of the first day care center cases to claim Satanic ritual abuse. There were some 500 separate reports filed at the Manhattan Beach Police Department in connection with the case. The children’s stories matched those of other cases cited. However, there was an additional component to the McMartin case. The children consistently talked of being abused in an underground tunnel below the day care center. A highly qualified archaeologist, hired by the children’s families, talked about a series of what he says were highly questionable incidents in the search for the elusive tunnels.
Archeologist Gary Stickle, Ph.D., has worked extensively in the United States and in Europe, including heading the largest underwater archeological sonar survey ever conducted in Europe. In addition, he has been a consultant to Lucas Films in the development of the Indiana Jones movie series. He has also been professor of Archeology at the University of California at Long Beach. Stickle said initially a private investigator went to the day care center site and did some preliminary informal digging. It is reported, said Stickle, that this investigator found some rabbit bones in the soil. (The children talked about rabbits being sacrificed.) However, the day before he was to testify, the private investigator was found dead from a gun shot wound. It was determined to be a suicide. But Stickle said that determination was questioned by more than a few people, given the timing. Eventually, said Stickle, the prosecution hired an archeological firm that dug seven pits clustered outside of the building. (This was curious, said Stickle, because the children were reporting the abuse had gone on in tunnels below the building.) Stickle said a remote sensing device was also used at the time, but it was reported that no tunnels were found. That was 1985.
The lack of a tunnel damaged the credibility of the children’s stories tremendously. Stickle’s firm was hired by the parents in 1990. Using a sophisticated ground penetrating radar, Stickle said a tunnel was found, right where some of the children had told his staff it would be.
However, even though evidence of the tunnel was found in May of 1990, while the trial was still in progress -- the evidence was never introduced in court, said Stickle. "Finding such a tunnel was highly relevant (to the case)," said Stickle. "Because it (prior lack of physical evidence of a tunnel) was a major thing used to discredit the children."
The accused McMartin Day Care Center staff were eventually acquitted. However, some of the McMartin parents haven’t quit fighting. A two hundred page report on the tunnel findings has recently been released by the parents, in an ongoing effort to keep the case before the public.
As with these children, it is becoming more and more apparent that there are many adult SRA walking wounded as well. As a result of the trauma, these are people often afflicted with things like severe paranoia, schizophrenia, multiple personalities. They are people almost off the scales in terms of addictions/compulsions, depression, self-mutilating behavior...
However, an advancing therapeutic field has developed highly sophisticated techniques to help survivors. And the prognosis for recovery is often good. In addition, parts of society are also rallying around these survivors. The County Commission for Women has a Ritual Abuse Task Force in Los Angeles; there is a state-wide Minnesota Awareness of Ritual Abuse group; Jireh, headquartered in Arlington, Texas, is a national program to create safe-houses for cult survivors breaking away; The International Council on Cultism and Ritual Trauma, in Richardson, Texas, ; and a number of cult survivor resource and referral organizations; ritual abuse twelve-step programs are evolving.
As much as we don’t want to believe it as a society -- Satanic ritual abuse is a reality. And, as was done by the parents in the McMartin Day Care Center case, we need to be rolling up our sleeves and digging deeper to get at the whole truth.
May 25, 1994 was designated National Missing Children’s Day. Those postcards that come to our homes so very often don’t represent anybody’s "false memories." Those are real children, with real fates. Daniel Ryder, CCDC, LSW, an investigative journalist and a counselor, is the author of Breaking the Circle of Satanic Ritual Abuse. The above article is based on material from Mr. Ryder's newest book Cover-up of the Century (Satanic Ritual Crime and Conspiracy).
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This article was originally published for the newsletter of the International Council on Cultism and Ritual Trauma. Their website is online at www.iccrt.org. Article reprinted with permission of the ICCRT.
[49] 2001 Sept 19 Satanic Ritual Abuse: The Evidence Surfaces - Daniel Ryder https://web.archive.org/web/20020829020755/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/80394
his article addresses how we, as therapists and counselors can unawarely retraumatize our patients, even when they have told us clearly this is what we are doing. The question will surely be asked, "How could I continue to damage my client in such a way if they have told me this is happening ?"
The answer is obvious. You weren't listening!
I have written an article on listening that might help in elucidating this statement but if it hasn't been read, then I will add that if we are not truly listening and attuned in to where our client IS and the message he/she is telling us both verbally and non-verbally, then we can be guilty of retraumatizing again and again with disastrous results for our patient and the therapy.
If we cannot think of an incidence in which we have thus treated our patient, it might be helpful to review some of the ways in which it could be done.
I am not speaking to overt retraumatization such as unprofessional loss of control where there has been yelling at the client, inappropriate sexual behavior towards them, or sudden termination of therapy without explanation or closure. I have dealt with the aftermath of all of these, the last being perhaps, the most damaging when a therapeutic alliance has been formed, and there has been good rapport between counselor and client(s) with progress being made. I am remembering when in the position as Clinical Supervisor at an Adolescent Day Treatment Center, one of the staff simply did not return. The subsequent effect on his clients and the whole group was devastating. But this is overt retraumatization.
I am speaking to the more subtle, and insidious ways in which we, as therapists can miss our cues and do harm to our patients unwittingly and unawarely unless we keep in mind the pitfalls and potential of causing unnecessary suffering to an already suffering patient.
It would be impossible to name all the ways in which we can rehurt and throw our clients back into reliving former traumata. The ways are as diverse and numerous as there are individuals, simply because what is traumatic for one person is not necessarily true for another.
However, there are commonalities in the therapy arena we could use for general headings which could be explored. I will touch only on four and leave it to the reader to do some honest and rigorous self-examination to discover others.
1. Triggers 2. Reenactment. 3. Transference/Countertransference. 4. Failure to truly listen.
1. TRIGGERS
Triggers can be myriad and often are. They may be people who resemble past abusers, surroundings similar to places where abuse occurred, sounds reminding the patient of a certain tone of voice used before or during abuse, certain music that was playing during abuse, sights and smells encountered that evoke conscious or unconscious memories of past traumas. For victims of Mind Control, colors, numbers, words, phrases,gestures,(e.g.hand signals) etc. can be very triggering and set off programs layered one on top of another.
In the case of DID ( Dissociative Identity Disorder) alter personalities might come out in an effort to cope with, protect from and resist, what is perceived as a potential or real danger or unbearable pain. Again, different things can trigger different alters depending on the experiences they hold.I addressed Triggering Procedures in an article about Emergency/CasaultyGuidelines where hospital per se with its personnel, equipment, smells and procedures are vivid reminders of torture and abuse for Ritual Abuse,Satanic Ritual Abuse and Mind Control survivors. ( see website: www.survivng.org.uk under Dissociative Identity disorder)
In the Therapist's Office any one or more of these triggering catalysts can be found, spoken or seen. Therapists who treat cult survivors need to be very sensitive to anything that could remotely resemble ritual activity. Having masks hanging on the wall, pictures depicting any kind of sacrifice whether mythological or ancient art form, burning incense of particular fragrance, blood red coloring in decorations and furnishings, wearing a black robe-like garment, etc.
This is not saying a therapist should redecorate their office or minutely change any POSSIBLE trigger ! I am saying that we, as therapists, should be sensitively aware of our client's body language, facial and eye expressions, anything that denotes terror, unease, dissociation, and not MISS these cues but inquire what is going on.
To miss these cues because the client cannot verbalize the fear, and continue to allow an easily removable object to remain during session time is retraumatizing at a level that can put the healing process back months. To continue to ignore any verbalization of fear around any object is willful retraumatization unworthy of professional standards.
A client of mine told me a picture I had threw her into a state of panic, so I turned the picture round to face the wall for session time and that worked fine.
I, personally believe, that to insist on keeping an object or anything that is obviously triggering for my client, and in so doing retraumatize them, reveals only that I have a control issue, my own agenda and the erroneous belief I can change in the mind of my client the memory that object reminds them of.
Whatever memory a trigger taps into, the patient relives that memory as though it were today. It is the sad delusion of some therapists to think they can erase a memory by attaching a new meaning to the trigger object.
NOTHING can replace the memory. It is the MEMORY that needs working through, not a substitution for it.
This applies to ritual dates. It is futile for a therapist, however well meaning, to think they can change the meaning of a date to something better, safer or different. For one thing, a therapist cannot change ANYTHING. Change comes from within the client with the help of their counselor.
Trigger dates whether ritual ones or anniversaries of trauma such as rape, murder, accidental death and so on, require the therapist to remember when such dates occur. To schedule session, activities or other events on trigger dates is retraumatizing - willfully so if the dates are remembered and still kept as a scheduled plan. I am notoriously bad at remembering anniversaries and birthdays but I try to keep up with the tramatizing dates of my clients and be sensitive to special needs surrounding them.
The vital lessons here are:
a) Do not MISS the trigger through preoccupation, lack of observation, insensitivity, or having ones own agenda. b) Explore what the trigger is connected to if possible. If the client is not ready to process whatever the original trauma was, file it away and return to it later. Never force a recollection of a trauma tiggered that does not come into consciousness without fear. If the connection is recognized and accepted then it can be worked through.
c) Work through the memory and don't try to "make it better" or substitute another experience.
d).Remember at all times that mishandling of triggers is retraumatizing.
2. REENACTMENT
We, as therapists, have a great responsibility and task in our commitment to our clients. They teach us, criticize us, commend us, frustrate and anger us, bring out the best and the worst in us. .But it is easy to look only from this perspective and omit realizing what we can do to them!
We all make mistakes, say the wrong thing, make a wrong judgment, assume, guess and be miles off track. Sadly, in many of our weaknesses and failings we retraumatize our patients who have experienced just such weaknesses and failings in those who are the reason for them being in our office.
We reenact for our clients, the rejecting parent, the loved one who does not hear the child's cry of unmet needs. They find we do not truly listen so they are thrown back into the place of unimportance, invisibility and Therapist Attention Deficit!
We are apt to talk too much, to theorize, interpret and explain things and effectively silence our clients as they were silenced by abusers and adults who "knew better." We put on the paternalistic or maternalistic cloak of authority and retrraumatize those who will do anything to please their therapist just as they did anything to please their abusers, and as long as we continue this role they come back to be retraumatized over and over again.
Nothing is accomplished except lengthening the healing process and time, but far more damaging, is that our patient will never gain an insight into something DIFFERENT. While we as therapists do not recognize the power position we hold and because of this non-recognition manipulate, control and dictate to our clients, we retraumatize and the fault is OURS, not theirs.
It is good to be brutally honest with ourselves in looking at the interaction between us and our clients. Is there an equality of give and take, of respect, of openness to the other's views and perceptions? If there isn't, we cannot but retraumatize through reenactment.
3.TRANSFERENCE AND COUNTERTRANSFERENCE It might be interesting to note here that there is the possibility not only of retraumatizing our clients but also ourselves if we do not deal effectively with our countertransference. I hope there is not one therapist who would deny a history of personal trauma in one form or another.
When I write that we can retraumatize ourselves I mean that if we do not recognize what our clients have raised in us positively or negatively, if we do not see how to keep the boundaries in the transference of our patients and we do not seek skilled supervision, we are in danger of losing perspective, insight and growth. In so doing, whatever traumas we may have sustained in the past or present there is the potential of remaining STUCK in their effects. We wouldn't be experiencing countertransference if our past has been worked through. We experience countertransference because it hits us where it hurts the most, where we are the most vulnerable and where we HAVEN'T healed ourselves. So it is good to remember what we can do to ourselves as well as our client.
One of the most traumatizing thing we can do to our clients is to project our own countertransference on to them as being their transference. In so doing, we not only retruamatize them by reenacting previous experiences in which, and because of which, they feel blamed and that they are to blame for whatever is happening, but the saddest part of this phenomenon is that the therapist remains blinded to their own issues and the need to self-examine. It is one of the easiest cop-outs for a therapist to avoid looking at him/herself by turning errors back onto their client, e.g. "due to your abuse, I can see how you think this, behave in such a manner, preceive me as doing whatever". How often have we relieved a twinge of guilt by projecting onto our clients, what we need to look at in ourselves? We retraumatize ourselves and don't even know it! I am not proud of the fact that I have done this.
Retraumatizing a client who transfers to us all the emotions, reactions and behaviors that were felt and shown to significant figures long since removed from their life either literally or figuratively, occurs in different ways.
It can be in not recognizing at what developmental stage such feelings belong; in the therapist garnering adoration to her/himself because of the need to be idealized, needed, admired etc. There could be an inability to handle intense and sometimes primal emotions such as rage, terror, indescribable emotional pain and in the response to any of these on the part of the therapist by unrecognition, avoidance, neglect, dismissal, denial of them being real, said therapist can reenact the exact responses shown to their patients. Shown at a time when they were too small to comprehend such lack of understanding from those they loved, or too afraid to question what didn't make sense in the abuse, punishment and total lack of love and nurturing.
Retraumatization of a client in the deepest phase of transference is decimating and simply relives in them all the horrror, disbelief and terror of someone they either love to desperation, fear to the point of paralysis, or both. If the therapist cannot handle, recognize or appropriately care for their client in this stage, the damage caused is irrepairable.
Reenactment doesn't need to be a physical repeating of a past trauma, a broken heart is far more traumatizing and difficult to heal than a broken limb. In the delicate and sensitive condition of a patient in the throes of emotional transference it behoves the therapist to treat their client as they would a container of Dresden china, " FRAGILE. Handle with CARE". If we do not do this, we are guilty of retraumatization.
4. LISTENING
In an article I wrote about Listening, (see www.surviving.org.uk), I posited that perhaps the greatest gift we could give our client, friend or stranger is the ability to truly LISTEN and to enable them to feel without a shadow of a doubt that he/she has been HEARD.
It is my belief that the worst thing that can be done to someone is to ignore them. Ignoring is an umbrella for rejection, silencing, making another feel invisible, less than nothing, unimportant, unrecognized, unloved, unheard and unwanted. Ignoring is TOTAL dismissal and recognition of a person's presence and being.
If we, as therapists are not fully present and focussed on our client in their session time, if we are preoccupied, wandering off on some thought and agenda of our own ( even if it concerns our client) we are, in reality, ignoring them. We are ignoring what they are telling us because we hear only part of what is being said, and sometimes none at all, our attention is somewhere else and often our eyes are likewise. Our clients are not stupid and they sense how present we are with them, how much we are paying attention, and it is easy to convey the feeling that in one sense they are being ignored. Our response to their questions, our comments on their affect and the content of what they are relating, our body language, and expressions all tell a tale. It is my firm belief that the worst kind of retraumatization I can commit upon my patient is to in any way ignore them by not listening with 100% of my mind, heart and attention. If I am not listening carefully, I will miss the triggers, fail to recognize the transference process and reenact traumatic responses already experienced by past abusers - it is the culmination of how to retraumatize a client.
The positive thing about all this is that NONE of it need happen!
It depends entirely on how willing we are, as committed therapists to work on our own "stuff", with honesty and integrity, to take our concerns to a skilled supervisor and train ourselves to be constantly self-aware of how we are with our clients. It is when WE get in the way that our clients get OUT - out of the place of healing, progress, understanding and growth.
I do challenge my colleagues to test their honest integrity in self-examination from which we are so prone to run. May we remember the emotional, psychological and sometimes physical life of our clients depends on it.
May we give sober and serious thought and consideration to how we can better help those we work with that we do not add to their dilemmas and suffering by willful or unaware retraumatization.
[50] 2001 Sept 19 Retraumatization https://web.archive.org/web/20031220074944/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/81275
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 1] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 1, 1-5
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 2] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 2, 6-10
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 3] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 3, 11-15
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 4] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 4, 16-20
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 5] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 5, 21-25
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 6] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 6, 26-30
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 7] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 7, 31-35
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 8] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 8, 36-40
[FoxyFoxBlog Svali Part 9] FoxyFoxBlog Svali The Suite 101 Articles Part 9, 41-45
Links
[46] 2001 Aug 19 Developing Intrasystem Cooperation https://web.archive.org/web/20021108152522/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/77721
[47] 2001 Aug 28 Prejudice Against Survivors https://web.archive.org/web/20020617080429/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/78508
[48] 2001 Sept 11 Eating Disorders and Ritual Abuse https://web.archive.org/web/20020613135924/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/79684
[49] 2001 Sept 19 Satanic Ritual Abuse: The Evidence Surfaces - Daniel Ryder https://web.archive.org/web/20020829020755/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/80394
[50] 2001 Sept 19 Retraumatization https://web.archive.org/web/20031220074944/http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/ritual_abuse/81275