Sinead - Forgive me I just could go no further #oneofmillions

Part 1

Aug 08, 2023

Sinead was buried today, [48] [49]. RIP Sinead.

The world of child abuse, the world of mind control, life in general is not a simple case of goodies and baddies, no matter how much we want it to be. It is much more complicated. We like things simple. They are not. This post in two parts will illustrate that. Part 1 is more or less the official sanitised version, though not often told, of some of her life. Part 2 will dig under the surface a bit deeper, and show what a roller coaster finding the truth really is.

Born in 1966, Sinead suffered physical and sexual and emotional abuse from her mother. Daily beatings and kickings often targeted between her legs, [15][7]. Sinead says of her mother, aged from zero to 13…

she ran a torture chamber…
she’s a person who took delight with a smile in hurting you…
she used to make me say over and over I am nothing i am nothing whilst she was beating me…
either she was a sadist and a pedophile or possessed by the devil
she wanted to destroy my womb and stop me being female

But despite almost daily abuse for 13 years, Sinead got on well with her mother between the ages of 14 - 16 and she says they had a good relationship.

“she was blown away that I forgave her” [15]

Sinead and her mother Johanna Marie O'Grady (1939–1985)

This would seem impossible to many people, and many people often cannot wrap their heads around how other people are different or that extraordinary decisions are made in extraordinary circumstances, particularly with children and parents, particularly with abuse and attachment.

But then one day the relationship took another twist when Sinead asked her mother why she had been violent to them. Her mother denied it so Sinead ran away.

Sinead was also raped by others. She said

“my mother is not the only person I’ve been raped by, I’ve been raped several times by other people, as a child [aged] three four five six seven eight nine ten [15]

The reason for Sinead’s trademark short hair is that she cut it to avoid unwanted attention.

“It was dangerous to be pretty too because I kept getting raped and molested everywhere I went” [15]

Sinead’s mother encouraged her to steal and Sinead was caught and sent to An Grianán Training Centre, Dublin at the age of 15. This is part of the notoriously violent and abusive Magdalene Laundries run by the Order of Our Lady of Charity who did not live up to their name [12] [13]. It is unclear if Sinead suffered further abuse at Magdalene Laundries but she witnessed it. However a nun did give Sinead her first guitar, which started Sinead’s “therapy”.

Sinead rips the Pope…

Sinead’s most famous incident was when she drew attention to child abuse by the Catholic Church by ripping up Pope John Paul II’s photo live on primetime Saturday Night Live [30]. The ripping of this photo was not just against the Church, it was also against her mothers abuse and Sinead also blamed her mothers abuse on the church.

“I took down from her bedroom wall the only photo she ever had up there, which was of Pope John Paul II. My intention had always been to destroy my mother’s photo of the pope. It represented lies and liars and abuse.” [4]

It is difficult to convey how utterly shocking this was in 1992. To insult the Pope by tearing his photograph up and also to accuse the Catholic Church of child abuse was way out there, especially for ultra Catholic god fearing Ireland. Most people lived in fear of the church and Catholic guilt is very real. I covered the incident here RIP Sinead O'Connor Champion Against Child Abuse [30]

In the US Sinead’s actions seems to have been shocking as well! Sinead tore up her mothers photo of the Pope on Saturday Night Live - an iconic high viewer show. Two weeks later she was due to sing at a Bob Dylan’s tribute and this gave an idea of the blowback Sinead faced.

Bob Dylan Tribute at Madyson Square Garden Oct 1992

Sinead idolised Dylan and was thrilled to be invited to perform at the tribute to Bob Dylan for his 30 years in the industy, and she was to sing his song “I Believe in You” [4]

Kris Kristofferson introduced her with reference to her courage and integrity, a nod to her recent Pope ripping performance…

“I’m real proud to introduce this next artist whose name became synonymous with courage and integrity. Ladies and gentlemen, Sinead O’Connor.”

Instantly, the boos rang out as though it was Pavlovian conditioning on the audience’s part to respond to her name that way. After a solid awkward minute in which she faced an intense barrage, the boos subsided just enough for her band to begin playing ‘I Believe in You’. [3]

The booing intensified. Kris Kristofferson says he was told by a floor manager to get Sinead offstage, but he says he did not want to do that. He says he whispered to her not to let them get her down, and she replied she was not down.

As the booing continued, albeit partly countered by some cheers she signalled for the other musicians to stop playing and then, instead of the planned song, Sinead launched into another solo and a cappella repeat of Bob Marley’s War that she had sung two weeks before, in which she had changed the words to include child abuse.

A remarkable defiant, feisty and combative response to the booing crowd.

Sinead O´Connor - Madison Square Garden [1c].

Sinead then went off stage and was hugged by Kristofferson.

Kris Kristofferson

Kris openly supporting her with his introduction, ignoring the stage manager and instead giving her encouragement and then hugged her openly afterwards. What a great guy.

Some years later he wrote the song Sister Sinead and this is the song together with some of the footage of Madison Square Gardens

Kris Kristofferson - Sister Sinead (2009) [5c]

Of course the criticism of Sinead did not end there. Amongst the critics were

NBC banned her for life
two young men chase her down the street and threw eggs at her, when she left the studio
civil rights organization Anti-Defamation League officially condemned O'Connor
National Ethnic Coalition of Organizations hired a steamroller to crush hundreds of copies of her albums outside of her record company’s headquarters
The Washington Times named her "the face of pure hatred"
Frank Sinatra called her “a stupid broad” and “She must beat her kids to stay in shape”
Madonna criticised her

O'Connor released an open letter, linking her being abused as a child to "the history of my people", she carried on

"The Catholic church has controlled us by controlling education, through their teachings on sexuality, marriage, birth control and abortion, and most spectacularly through the lies they taught us with their history books." The letter concluded, "My story is the story of countless millions of children whose families and nations were torn apart for money in the name of Jesus Christ."

Bob Dylan

Sinead felt that Bob Dylan let her down. The event was the 30th Anniversary Concert Celebration marking 30 years of Bob Dylan as a recording artist. She felt he should have stepped in to tell the audience that were here for him to let her sing.

“I feel like Bob Dylan is the one who should have come out and told his audience to let me sing,” she wrote. “And I’m pissed that he didn’t. So I glare at him in the wings as if he’s my big brother who’s just told my parents I skipped school. He stares back at me, baffled. He’s looking all handsome in his white shirt and pants. It’s the weirdest 30 seconds of my life.” [4]

Dylan said nothing in her defence or otherwise at the time or afterwards afaik. Why did he not say anything? We are still talking about it 30 years later yet Bob did not say anything at the time or in the immediate aftermath or since.

Madonna

"I think there is a better way to present her ideas, rather than ripping up an image that means a lot to other people," she said, via The New York Times. "If she is against the Roman Catholic Church, and she has a problem with them, I think she should talk about it." [7]

At the very least Madonna should have not cast the first stone… how could Madonna ignore that she had caused offence deliberately to flog a soft drink? Madonna did it for money not for high minded principle or seeking to help others.

Madonna appeared to court controversy by mocking the Catholic church. She sang “Like a Prayer” in 1989 in a Pepsi commercial with the video featuring Catholic symbols such as stigmata, a burning cross burning and a dream of making love to a Saint. The Vatican condemned the video and religious groups sought to ban the commercial. The ad was pulled but it had done its job and Like a Prayer topped the charts in many countries [25]. Pepsi had just paid her $5million. [Update I have been informed Madonna is her real name, so deleted reference to her stagename, HT Mindy Beth]

Three months later Madonna appeared on SNL, sang Bad Girl and ripped up a photo of Joey Buttafuoco. He had slept briefly, consensually, with a 16 year old girl committing an offence of statutory rape of a minor. Mentioning Joey Buttafuoco was a standing joke on the show.

For Madonna to compare the mass rape of children by the Catholic Church to this man, was disingenous, trivialising the abuse by the Catholic Church and was cruel mocking of Sinead by Madonna. Why?

Prince

Sinead’s greatest hit, which was a couple of years before the pope ripping incident was "Nothing Compares 2 U," which written by Prince. However the relationship between the two was not good. "We didn't get on at all. In fact, we had a punch-up," she said in 2014.

She also called Prince "a devil worshipper" in her 2021 memoir "Rememberings," according to the Irish Post.

"I believe he was involved in devil business because an old girlfriend of his told me he had the power to make s*** move around the room" [7]

Miley

Miley Cyrus claimed that her look for the video Wrecking Ball was inspired by Sinead’s Nothing Compares.

There was close up of a face with a tear on one cheek at the start of the video, but most of the video is cavorting around naked. The video is directed by the notoriously sleazy and now partially publicly exposed Terry Richardson, who is accused of numerous instances of sexual misconduct, including exploitation. It is an absurd comparison.

Sinead pointed this out to Miley in an open letter warning Miley that the business did not have her interests at heart.

I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping

See full letter here for an accurate summation of the way the music business model treats women [30].

Cyrus’s response via twitter was cruel taunting about Sinead’s mental health and said "I don't have time to write you an open letter cause I'm hosting & performing on SNL this week," [31]

Israel

Not content with telling the truth to the Catholic church and its supporters, and incurring the consequences, Sinead incurred the wrath of hugely powerful Israeli lobby. Sinead cancelled her concert in Israel, when they were being offered huge sums to play there.

“Nobody with any sanity, including myself, would have anything but sympathy for the Palestinian plight,” she said. “There’s not a sane person on earth who in any way sanctions what the fuck the Israeli authorities are doing” [9].

Sinead was brave and courageous and spoke out for what she thought was right.

Sinead’s Mental Health and Suicide

Sinead has always been an open book about her mental health problems,

her diagnosis of bipolar on Oprah in 2007, later disagreed with by 3 other doctors
her attempted suicide on her 33rd birthday 8 dec 1999
her fibromyalgia which caused a career break 2003-5
her diagnoses of complex post-traumatic stress disorder cPTSD and borderline personality disorder
her gynaecological problems for over three years and in 2015 her hysterectomy "I was flung into surgical menopause. Hormones were everywhere. I became very suicidal. I was a basket case."
O'Connor posted a 12-minute video on facebook in Aug 2017 in which she lamented the loss of custody of her 13-year-old son, Shane, her loneliness and her sucidal thoughts for 2 years
O'Connor appeared on Dr Phil, who had seen her facebook post and she wanted to do the interview to "destigmatize mental illness", noting the prevalence of mental health issues among musicians.

2017 Odysee Dr. Phil S16E01 ~ Singer Sinead O’Connor Speaks Out after Hotel Breakdown - The Exclusive Interview [46]

Suicides

This was the suicide note Sinead wrote on a guitar on a previous attempt

It reads Forgive me I Just Could go no further #oneofmillions

Sinead had attempted suicide about 9 times. Her son Shane also took his own life in January 2022, the reasons for which described here. Sinead and Sean - Suicide Victims of the Family Court [35] A week later, distraught, following a series of tweets in which she indicated that she was going to kill herself, Sinead was hospitalised.

Sinead’s recent suicide attempt was unfortunately successful. She had 4 children from 1996 -2004. 3 of her childen survive her. We mourn the loss of a mother and a great but much troubled talent.

What do we learn from this?

“Fight the real enemy!”

Who or what is the real enemy? That will be investigated in Part 2.

Sinead had a stunning voice and it is perhaps best shown in this version of Nothing Compares which features just her vocals…

Odysee Sinead O' Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U - Isolated vocals [27]

Sineads parents were John Oliver "Seán" O'Connor, a structural engineer later turned barristerand chairperson of the Divorce Action Group, and Johanna Marie O'Grady (1939–1985), who married in the Church of Our Lady of Good Counsel, Drimnagh, Dublin, in 1960. She attended Dominican College Sion Hill school in, Blackrock, County Dublin.

Sinead was buried today. [48] [49] RIP Sinead

My previous blogs on Sinead

RIP Sinead O'Connor Champion Against Child Abuse [30]
Sinead and Sean - Suicide Victims of the Family Court [35]
Sinead O’Connor and Dr Phil with transcript [15]

Links

[1c] Sinead O´Connor - Madison Square Garden https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/Sinead-O%C2%B4connor---Madison-Square-Garden-GzxTDHMQza8(1):0

[1] u [] Madison Square

[2] Rolling Stone https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/sinead-o-connor-booed-pope-bob-dylan-concert-1176338/

[3] 2021 Jul 31 Far Out Magazine Sinead O’Connor was once booed off stage at a Bob Dylan tribute show https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/sinead-oconnor-booed-off-stage-bob-dylan-tribute/

[4] 2021 Jun 6 Cheat Sheet Why Sinéad O’Connor Was ‘Pissed’ at Bob Dylan During His 1992 Tribute Concert https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/sinead-oconnor-pissed-bob-dylan-1992-tribute-concert.html/

[5] u Kris Kristofferson - Sister Sinead (2009)

[5c] Odysee Kris Kristofferson - Sister Sinead (2009) https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/Kris-Kristofferson---Sister-Sinead-(2009)-bvlElJBaEuo:a

[7] Grunge https://www.grunge.com/737841/the-tragic-real-life-story-of-sinead-oconnor/

[7a] Grunge archive https://web.archive.org/web/20230608083649/https://www.grunge.com/737841/the-tragic-real-life-story-of-sinead-oconnor/

[8] u tube Bob Dylan Admits He Sold His Soul to the Devil for short lived fortune fame and glory

[8c] Bob Dylan Admits He Sold His Soul to the Devil for short lived fortune fame and glory https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/short-clip-of-Bob-Dylan-Admits-He-Sold-His-Soul-to-the-Devil-for-short-lived-fortune-fame-and-glory-jNn72qnp6kI:7

[9] Electronic Intifada https://electronicintifada.net/blogs/david-cronin/thank-you-sinead-oconnor-boycotting-israel

[10] https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12341117/Sinead-OConnor-dead-Irish-music-legend-dies-aged-56-years-mental-health-battles-18-months-17-year-old-son-Shane-passed-away.html

[11] you tub

[12] 2017 Jul 14 cathyfoxblog Irish High Court Judicial Review 2017 Jun 1 – Child Sexual Abuse https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2017/07/14/irish-high-court-judicial-review-2017-jun-1-child-sexual-abuse/

[13] 2016 Sept 28 cathyfoxblog Wally Harbert’s submission to IICSA https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2016/09/28/wally-harberts-submission-to-iicsa/

[14] 2023 Jul 27 Morrisey https://www.morrisseycentral.com/messagesfrommorrissey/you-know-i-couldn-t-last

[15] 2023 Jul 27 Foxes Sinead O’Connor and Dr Phil with transcript https://yabasta1.wordpress.com/2023/07/27/sinead-oconnor-and-dr-phil-with-transcript/

[16] wikipedia Order of Our Lady of Charity https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_Our_Lady_of_Charity Roman Catholic monastic order, f

[17] Cathy O’Brien Transformation book re Kristofferson (she spells it Kristopherson)

[18] 1992 Nov 1 NY Times POP VIEW; Why Sinead O'Connor Hit a Nerve https://web.archive.org/web/20230727002107/https://www.nytimes.com/1992/11/01/arts/pop-view-why-sinead-o-connor-hit-a-nerve.html

[19] 4th Miley letter archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131009140818/http://www.sineadoconnor.com/2013/10/4th-open-letter-to-miley-cyrus/

[20] https://www.irishpost.com/news/fresh-light-on-sinead-oconnor-pope-controversy-163668

[21] https://people.com/music/sinead-oconnor-emotional-sexual-abuse-mother/

[22] 2021 Dec 8 FarOut Magazine Inside the tumultuous relationship of Sinéad O'Connor and Prince https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/sinead-oconnor-prince-relationship/

[23] https://www.npr.org/2017/04/21/524881332/in-the-wake-of-princes-death

[24] https://www.howardnema.com/2016/04/25/prince-and-the-hidden-meaning-of-his-symbol/

[25] wikipedia Madonna https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna

[26] https://abc7ny.com/rape-madonna-raped-never-reported/555789/

[27] Odysee Sinead O' Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U - Isolated vocals https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/Sinead-O'-Connor---Nothing-Compares-2-U---Isolated-vocals-rL4VTq6UQEI:a

[28] https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/03/25/AR2010032502363.html?hpid%3Dopinionsbox1%C3%A2%C2%8A%C2%82=AR csa and catholic church include

[29] We must destroy nest of devils in the Vatican, for Christ's sake https://web.archive.org/web/20110719113814/http://www.independent.ie/opinion/analysis/we-must-destroy-nest-of-devils-in-the-vatican-for-christs-sake-2823575.html

[30] 2023 Jul 26 Substack FoxyFox RIP Sinead O'Connor Champion Against Child Abuse https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/rip-sinead-oconnor-champion-against #sinead #csa #childabuse #pope #catholicabuse

[31] 2013 Oct 4 BBC Miley Cyrus and Sinead O'Connor row escalates https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-24395755

[32] 2023 Jul 28 Mail 2023 jul 28 Sinead O'Connor's haunting documentary tells how she found her voice after an abusive childhood that shaped her life https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12349789/My-mother-beast-eight-live-garden-24-7-week-two-begged-let-Sinead-OConnors-haunting-interview-tells-abusive-childhood-shaped-turbulent-life.html 'This was a young 25-year-old girl from Dublin who was causing this much of an outcry. She was obviously deemed dangerous by the powers that be, or the amount of hysteria it caused wouldn't have happened. She was very, very powerful.' He was the love of my life, the lamp of my soul,' she confessed to her followers on Twitter. 'We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. I am lost in the bardo without him.'

[33] 2023 Jul 28 Mail Sinead O'Connor's ex-fiancé John Waters faces a wave of social media abuse in the wake of her death - more than 20 years after bitter custody battle over their daughter https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12348455/Sinead-OConnors-ex-fianc-John-Waters-faces-wave-social-media-abuse-wake-death-20-years-bitter-custody-battle-daughter.html

[34] 2023 Jul 29 Mail Coroner's team admit they don't know when Sinead O'Connor died as attempts are made to piece together Irish music legend's last days https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12351441/Coroners-team-admit-dont-know-Sinead-OConnor-died-attempts-piece-Irish-music-legends-days.html

[35] 2023 Jul 28 Substack Foxy Fox Sinead and Sean - Suicide Victims of the Family Court https://foxyfox.substack.com/p/sinead-and-shane-suicide-victims #sinead #sineadoconnor #shane #familycourt #childkidnapping #childstealing #childtrafficking #injustice

[36] Science Direct Pavlovian Conditioning https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/pavlovian-conditioning

[37] concert https://my.mail.ru/mail/shaminpavel48/video/4544/58272.html

[38] https://web.archive.org/web/20230314195424/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_30th_Anniversary_Concert_Celebration

[39] https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10385917/Sinead-OConnor-reveals-son-Shane-17-planned-funeral-month-taking-life.html

[40] https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/jul/27/sinead-oconnor-tribute-by-friends-fans-and-collaborators?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other ‘She lived her truth’

Róisín Murphy, musician and fan

[41] https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/oct/04/sinead-oconnor-legal-action-miley-cyrus Because taking me on is even more fuckin' stupid than behaving like a prostitute and calling it feminism." She added: "When you end up in the psych ward or rehab I'll be happy to visit you … and would not lower myself to mock you. Be a proper woman and make the public apologies I have listed above."

[42] https://www.maximusuk.co.uk/

[43] https://www.theguardian.com/music/gallery/2023/jul/26/sinead-oconnor-a-life-in-pictures

[44] https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12352789/EXCLUSIVE-Sin-ad-OConnor-saved-life-mother-brutally-raped-business-tycoon-reveals-Irish-music-legend-tracked-took-in.html

[45] Deprogramwiki Deprogramming Modalities https://deprogramwiki.com/deprogramming/deprogramming-modalities-for-trauma-mind-control-survivors/

[46] 2017 Odysee Dr. Phil S16E01 ~ Singer Sinead O’Connor Speaks Out after Hotel Breakdown - The Exclusive Interview https://odysee.com/@FoxesAmazingChannel:8/Dr.-Phil-S16E01---Singer-Sinead-O%E2%80%99Connor-Speaks-Out-after-Hotel-Breakdown_-The-Exclusive-Interview-acbNkAs1z_Y:8

[47] 1992 Rolling Stone Dylan Honored by Cash, Clapton, and More at MSG Tribute Show https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/dylan-honored-by-cash-clapton-and-more-at-msg-tribute-show-243149/

[48] 2023 Aug 8 Mail Nothing Compared to You, Sinead: Sinead O'Connor is laid to rest in her hometown as hundreds of sobbing fans line the streets in Ireland to say farewell to iconic singer - and hillside tribute is unveiled in her memory https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12383817/Nothing-Compared-Sinead-Ireland-prepares-say-goodbye-Sinead-OConnor-thousands-fans-set-line-streets-singer-laid-rest-hometown-hillside-tribute-unveiled-memory.html

[49] 2023 Aug 8 Mail Sinead O'Connor is laid to rest in Muslim burial as fans line streets of her home town to say farewell and blast out her music as Michael D Higgins, Bono, the Edge and Bob Geldof attend private service https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12383817/Nothing-Compared-Sinead-Ireland-prepares-say-goodbye-Sinead-OConnor-thousands-fans-set-line-streets-singer-laid-rest-hometown-hillside-tribute-unveiled-memory.html

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